I saw a video on a neighbourhood group page; a family making tamales in their backyard. They were using a big metal pot and a wood fire. Grandma was wrapping them in leaves. The whole family was watching. Then a neighbour called the fire department.
That’s the way we are in Toronto.
We’re a lot like spiders. We protect our little spaces like a spider protects its web. We pounce on anyone who touches a centimetre of what belongs to us. In the case of the tamale-making family, they didn’t touch anyone else’s property. But a neighbour thought they might: like a spark might float in the air and engulf their house in flames.
I’m a lot like the fire department-calling neighbour. I once confronted a neighbour whose car was parked too close to my property. I was upset to have to go around that car almost every day to get into my own driveway. One day, I told my neighbour his big SUV was in my way. He countered by saying it was never a problem before. We parted ways. My neighbour didn’t park there anymore. But now we don’t talk to each other.
During COVID, every spider in the city got what we wanted. Isolation behind our webs. It was good for the first three months, but then it got a little creepy. Post-COVID, we wanted to start anew. Open up more. But post-COVID, the world had changed. Many of us worked from home. Many got a little poorer. And just like that, we went back inside.
The tamale-making family isn’t the problem. My neighbour parking close to my driveway isn’t the problem. The problem is our tendency to defend our tiny turfs while losing sight of what’s important: each other.
The fire department-calling neighbour needs to live life to the fullest, instead of retreating. Just like the tamale-making family is doing.
On my block, a quiet neighbour, who I’ve rarely heard from in 10 years, broke out in live Portuguese music one summer night. A guitarist friend had come to visit. They were both playing on the porch. The woman of the house sang. It was an impromptu outdoor concert.
I clapped for the performance. The same neighbour who I don’t talk to anymore, called out “We need a street party!”
He’s right. No fire departments. More spontaneous street parties. And maybe some delicious tamales?
We are indeed fortunate in the humanity of our neighbours.
Thanks for the true stories, Robin Nieto—you’re a raw (authentic) reporter.